


Just Feelings

by themagnificentquack



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Dinah's an asshole for a little while sorry, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Heartache, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28538592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themagnificentquack/pseuds/themagnificentquack
Summary: it's like fwb to friends to lovers but the middle bit where they're freinds, they're friends who are in love but not ready to be in a relationship yet.canon compliant, set from when laurel's the da to a little after she goes back to earth-2
Relationships: Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	Just Feelings

It wasn't supposed to hurt, Laurel knew that. It shouldn't matter that Dinah called out a different name when she came- one that sounded a lot like Vinny and nothing like Laurel. Knowing that the quiet moans and whispered pet names and lazy smiles were all meant for someone else shouldn't hurt but it did, it hurt so much that she had to remind herself that it was just emotion and she could still breathe just fine, despite the lump in her throat that made her feel like she was dying.

It hurt so much that when Dinah offered to return the favor after she came down from her high Laurel said no, that she just wasn't feeling it that day. It made her feel even worse when Dinah accepted it without question because even though she didn't want Dinah's hands on her- she might break if that happened- she wanted Dinah to want to, to want _her_.

She cried when she got back to her car afterwards and she hadn't done it in so long that it came out choked and weird- like she was trying to force it out and hold back at the same time. It occurred to her that she should probably find a new fuck buddy.

~~

She ran into Dinah purely by accident in a courtroom a few weeks later. She planned on walking right by, maybe giving her a nod if necessary, but Dinah took her by the arm and pulled her away from the throng of people to stand by the wall.

Laurel went willingly and cursed herself for it.

"Are you avoiding me?" Dinah asked quietly, her tone even and her voice blank. There was a hint of curiosity in her tone, but she didn't seem to care what the answer was and for some reason that made Laurel angry. She would think later about how that was probably just covering up a whirlwind of hurt, but for now she let it run free.

She tugged her arm sharply out of Dinah's grip, freeing herself from the warmth of Dinah's touch. "What makes you think that?" she asked, her voice cold as ice.

"Because I asked if you wanted to come over four separate times and you said you were busy for all of them," Dinah replied.

Laurel clenched her hand into a fist. She wished her fingernails were longer so they could bite into her skin and distract her.

"I'm the DA Dinah, I am busy. I have work to do. Or would you rather I dropped it all to be at your beck and call so I could come fuck you whenever something reminds you of your boyfriend?" she hissed angrily.

Dinah flinched away like she'd been slapped. "Don't you dare bring Vince into this," she said, her voice low.

Laurel knew she was getting close to revealing her feelings, but she was angry and hurting and she couldn't stop now. "Don't bring me into this," she replied sharply. "I didn't ask for a fucking threesome."

Dinah crossed her arms across her chest. "What? I didn't say your name and now your feelings are hurt? Is that it?"

Laurel's chest was tight and she felt tears rising to her eyes as she leaned in close and said, "Fuck. Off."

Dinah's eyes flickered down to her lips and Laurel felt like punching a wall and crying at the same time. She stood up straight and checked Dinah with her shoulder as she walked away, tears stinging her eyes.

It's just feelings, she told herself. You're fine, nothing is wrong. It's just feelings.

~~~

Not even a week passed before Dinah invited her over with a text. Laurel was going to ignore it, she really was, but then another came through and it said, "I miss you".

Laurel didn't even realize she was smiling until the underused muscles groaned in protest. She'd missed Dinah too, there had been this aching hole in her chest since the last time they kissed and it hurt, it physically hurt being away from her. The thought that Dinah might feel the same brought tears to her eyes and she pushed all of her fears about Dinah aside and ran to her.

Kissing her for the first time after missing her for weeks was an almost religious experience. Her memory didn't quite capture the softness of her lips or the warmth of her hands as they traveled the length of Laurel's spine. It was the relief of having all of her worries, all her stress, slip away until it was just the two of them. She didn't know how she'd lived without it.

It was only hours later once the afterglow had begun to fade and they were just lying there, tangled up in each other, that Laurel got up the courage to ask, "You were thinking about him, weren't you?"

Dinah paused for a moment. Maybe she felt guilty, but it seemed more likely she was just catching her breath because there wasn't an ounce of regret in her tone when she said, "Yeah."

"Fuck," Laurel whispered. She buried her head in her hands and said it again, louder this time, before getting out of Dinah's bed and pulling on her clothes.

"I'm sorry," Dinah said without an ounce of meaning behind it. She said it like it was an annoyance, a chore. Like all of it meant nothing to her.

"This is a shitty thing to do to a person. You get that right?" Laurel asked.

Dinah shrugged helplessly. "Yeah but you're..."

Laurel stood up tall, her fury radiating out of her with such heat she was surprised Dinah hadn't caught fire. "I'm what?" she hissed. "Say it!"

"You're Black Siren," Dinah replied.

All the fight drained from Laurel's body until she felt like she was going to collapse. Her body hadn't given up like that in a while-certainly not since she'd become Black Siren- and it scared her. She turned away from Dinah and leaned against the wall for support. She heard a final whispered curse fall from her lips like it was coming from far away, heavy with disappointment. She pushed herself off the wall and walked away without looking back. She'd been a fool.

~~~

She felt numb the rest of the week. She did her work robotically and didn't think about anything much deeper than that. She laid awake for hours before falling asleep and when she dreamed it was of Dinah.

She was working through her lunch break one day when she was interrupted by the very woman she couldn't stop dreaming of.

Laurel gritted her teeth and said, "If this is work related send an intern, and if not you can go. I have work to do."

"So I guess I'm going to have to be the one to open up and fix this then," Dinah said, a hint of a joke in her voice.

Laurel's heart ached at it, at the teasing tone of voice that she used to have the privilege of listening to. She didn't let on, instead raising an eyebrow, her eyes cold and blank. "If one of us is going to be vulnerable here it's sure as hell not going to be," she said. 

Dinah nodded and looked down at her hands. "That's fair," she murmured. She took a deep breath and looked up into Laurel's eyes. "I liked hanging out with you. I like just being around you," she said. "And I get that I hurt you, and fucked with your feelings-"

"What feelings?" Laurel interrupted. "I thought Black Siren didn't have any."

Dinah deflated a little. "I'm sorry," she said, and it was more earnest than Laurel had been expecting. "You're not Black Siren, you're Laurel and I think you're really great and I'd like to be your friend."

Laurel dug her fingers into her arm rest and tried to hide the way the word 'friend' made her stomach hurt.

She didn't want to be Dinah's friend, she wanted to kiss her, and touch her, and lie together as their heart rates calmed down and their highs faded and there was a special kind of openness to it that Laurel didn't want to share with anyone else.

She closed her eyes briefly as the reality of the moment sunk in. When she opened them again all of the emotion in them was gone.

"Let's start with co-workers," she said.

~~~

Laurel laid on the floor of her shitty apartment and allowed a sigh to slip past her lips. She knew it was time to go home, she'd known for a while. She'd become stagnant, stuck in the life of her earth-1 counterpart, too busy trying to be good, trying to be perfect, to bother being herself.

She didn't know why she stayed really. It certainly wasn't feasible long term. But then again, she hadn't thought about the future in a while. For a time survival was enough, or at least she convinced herself it was. But not anymore. She wanted a future- something to live for.

She'd imagined a future with Dinah sometimes, when she was high or feeling particularly happy. But that had never really been an option for her. Her throat closed up at the thought and she sat up, dashing the tears from her eyes.

She knew there was nothing for her on earth-1, but it still hurt to leave it behind, to leave her behind.

Her hands were shaking as she pulled the inter-dimensional extrapolator out of her pocket. She was scared. Scared to face what she'd done, and scared to face it alone. 

"They're just feelings," she muttered to herself, shaking out her tense limbs. Then she opened the portal, took a deep breath, and walked through to meet whatever was waiting for her on the other side.

~~~

Laurel pulled the ski mask she was using to hide her identity during her nightly activities off with a sigh of relief. She was going to need a real suit eventually, but for now a ski mask and a bullet proof vest were serving her just fine. Besides, she had much more important things do be doing.

She'd decided to start by taking down her old associates, starting with the most dangerous. The whole vigilante thing was turning out to be a bit more difficult than she'd expected, especially because she couldn't use her cry for fear of revealing her identity and being targeted by more "old friends" than she could handle at once.

But, overall she was managing it. She could feel her strength returning and she was learning new skills and non-lethal ways to take people down. She felt good. Tired- but good.

She rubbed her hand over her face and yawned as she wandered into her bedroom. She instantly rolled away and pulled the knife from her waistband when she saw the shadow of an intruder.

"Hey it's just me," a voice said.

"Dinah?" Laurel hissed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" Dinah countered.

Laurel sighed and stood up, abandoning the cover of her bed (it was a mattress on the floor, but still) to turn on the light.

They both winced at the sudden brightness.

"Why were you hiding in my bedroom with the light off Dinah, that's super weird."

Dinah huffed. "Answer my question and I'll answer yours," she said.

"Fine." Laurel sat on her "bed" and leaned against the wall, her exhaustion getting to her. "I didn't think you'd care," she said.

Dinah sat down next to her and Laurel ached to reach over and intertwine their fingers.

"I do care about you," Dinah said. "I just could never get Vince out of my head. He's been the only thing for me to hold onto for so long and I don't know how to let him go."

Laurel hummed in understanding, her eyes sliding shut. "Dinah it's really nice to see you, and I care about you too, I really do, but I have work in five hours and I'd like to spend as much of that time sleeping as possible," she said tiredly.

Dinah blushed in embarrassment. "Right, of course. I'll just go then," she said, already walking away.

"Stay," Laurel murmured. Her eyes were closed so she wasn't sure what was happening, but she didn't have time to worry about it before she heard the click of the light turning off and the dip of the mattress as Dinah laid down in bed next to her.

Laurel smiled and shifted her position so she was lying beside Dinah. She wasn't quite ready to cuddle yet, but she reached down to interlock their fingers and smiled at Dinah's quiet gasp. She decided then and there that perhaps her mantra of "just feelings" wasn't quite right. Those little shits were turning out to have some positive qualities after all. 

~

Dinah woke up to an empty bed and a sticky note. She smiled at the sight of Laurel's untidy scrawl. It was certainly not the handwriting of a lawyer and Dinah loved seeing all the little things that proved how special and unique _her_ Laurel was.

She wrote a quick note back saying she had to go, but she planned to visit again. Then she rolled out of bed and walked through the portal, smile firmly in place.

Weekly visits became somewhat of a thing between the two of them, and even though they weren't together Laurel started to think of it as date night.

They would show each other their favorite places around their two cities, try new restaurants and go out to see movies. On Dinah's birthday they drove out to the beach and had a picnic under the stars.

Laurel would be worried that Dinah didn't really like her or want to be with her, but they talked about it more than once and she knew Dinah would take the first step when she was ready. She had little to no reservations about letting herself fall in love, and she told Dinah just that.

It took her getting injured for Dinah to say it back.

She showed up in Laurel's living room for date night only to see her sitting on the floor and stitching up a gash in her side, wincing with every tug of the needle and cursing like a sailor.

She rushed over immediately and asked, "Oh my god are you okay?"

Laurel grunted in pain but then sighed in relief as she cut off the remaining string and placed a bandage over it. It felt a little better with the extra pull of the needle taken off and her racing heartbeat slowed as she said, "Yep. All done, thank god."

Dinah doted on her all night and pretended not to notice the knowing looks Laurel kept giving her. It was only when she was laying in Laurel's arms that night (very loosely so she didn't put strain on her stitches, Dinah had insisted) that it hit her. They had dangerous jobs, either of them could die at any moment. And she was not about to die without having been with Laurel.

"Hey Laur?" she whispered.

Laurel whined a little at having been woken up and then said, "Yeah?"

"What are we waiting for?" Dinah asked.

Laurel laughed. "You, dumbass."

Dinah hummed, deep in thought. "I love you," she whispered.

She could hear the smile in Laurel's voice when she replied, "Yeah, no duh. I love you too D."

Dinah rolled over to wrap her arms around Laurel's waist. "You wanna be my partner? Like romantically, I mean?"

Laurel felt a smile blooming on her face because _of course_ Dinah would want to call them partners and it felt so perfect, and right, and "Of course I do," she murmured, unexpected tears pricking her eyes and she leaned down to kiss the top of Dinah's head.

Dinah hummed in content as her eyes slid shut. "Can we kiss in the morning?" she asked.

Laurel laughed quietly. "I would love that," she said, running her hand gently though Dinah's hair.

"I love you," Dinah said again, before she let out this adorable little sigh and nuzzled into Laurel's side before falling asleep.

Laurel laid awake for a couple moments, her heart bursting with joy. God she loved having feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> yall i spelled disappointment right FIRST TRY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. I, AM, GOD!


End file.
